Saturday, January 23, 2010

On Being a Queen

It’s time again to report on my adventures. Faithful readers, if you would kindly notice, the name of this blog has evolved from “On Being a Princess” to “On Being a Queen.” I have spent the last year transitioning out of princesshood. Seeing as how I am twenty-one years old and single, I am now eligible to rule my own kingdom. Which mostly means that I am old enough to do everything except a) die of old age and b) rent a car. Wondrous exciting! I am also worthy of queenhood due to a recent acquisition of a ring of power. Note that it wasn’t exactly the ring I was hoping for, but more details will come in a later post. At any rate, I justify my advancement from princess to queen as such and will now ask you to consider my domain.

My castle is on BYU campus. The locals call it the Joseph F. Smith Building, but to me it is The Fortress. I love those arches in the courtyard!
My arsenal: 100+ books that no longer fit in my teensy bookshelves. Some people sleep with a gun under their pillow; I sleep with a book (or two [or three]) under mine.
My weapon of choice: pen. I put ink to paper a lot, but thank you, Jason Bourne, for proving that the pen can be used for more than just writing.
My spies: the birds. I sorely miss the company of Xander and Elaine, the falcons that nested near my castle last summer. They were so useful—even if they sometimes ate my other spies. And left pieces of their broken bodies all over the brick path. Point: I talk to the birds, they talk to me, etc, etc, and I get all the information I need to rule my domain.
My suitors (after all, every noble woman should have them if she’s single): William Shakespeare and George Eliot. Don’t tell Will that George Eliot is, in fact, a woman. I want him to think he has competition.
My subjects: ah, now we get to it. I don’t exactly have subjects as of yet. If I do, they are very transient: snowflakes that melt, trees that sleep all winter, etc. Public Relations is currently working on solving that problem.

And there you have it. Queen Toni has assumed the throne. There are many stories to tell. It has been a long journey, full of twists and turns. Stay tuned.

Kirk out.

I mean, Toni out.