Sunday, October 31, 2010

All Hallow's Eve

I'm not afraid of no ghost.
It's all a bunch of hocus pocus
And pickles
And llamas
And other scary things
And there was this once,
Upon a midnight dreary,
While I pondered, weak and weary,
That everyone hailed to the pumpkin throne.

I chat with my sister about bloody hands and time travel
And we search for pirates and hoverboards on Amazon.
We have a theory about velociraptors.
And, by the way,
I am a murderess,
She is a jazzerciser.
And a hitchhiking ghost follows us home
For Family Home Evening.

Happy Halloween!

Saturday, October 30, 2010

NCIS Pumpkinheads

I have an obsession. It's unhealthy, I know. But my obsession cannot help itself. It just is. And it belongs to NCIS. Great show. Mum can't stand it because "it's so unrealistic." So I tell her to go watch reality TV. Leave the stories and characters of NCIS to me.

To honor my friends at the fictional version of the Naval Criminal Investigative Service, I decided to draw their faces on my mini-pumpkin, as such:

All he needs is a bow tie.

He is a goof.

She rocks!

Because he's lethal.

She's so mysterious.

My favorite! Also, we saw him a few weeks ago on this blog as Thackery Binx. :)

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

October 26th

Happy Marty McFly Day!

Marty began his three-movie journey when he hit 88 miles per hour on October 26th, 1985, making today the 25th anniversary! Wah!

And in his honor, my car transformed into a time machine. I installed a flux capacitor. It was awesome.

Happy Feet

How can you get overwhelmed or discouraged when your feet look like this?

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Saturday morning

It's raining.
I do not have makeup on.
I'm wearing red socks and perfecting my moonwalk on the kitchen floor.
I made a bet that it would snow on October 31st.
I hope I'm right.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Sensible Assumptions

Glort you.

That's right. Glort you. After a dropped call to my mother, I tried to text "I lost you." I forgot the space and my phone assumed I was writing "Glort you." Makes sense. Especially since glort is a real word. Psych! (O the good old '90s!)

Let's play Balderdash. If glort were a real word, what would it mean? Here is my submission.

Glort: verb, to gleefully snort insomuch that an eyeball pops out of its socket.

So when I say "glort you," I am cursing you with the ability to gleefully snort insomuch that one of your eyeballs pops out. I'll let you choose which eyeball. Now there's an image for you. And speaking of images, I have some poetic autumnal pictures to share with you. This is the view from where I stand:

All gold and bright!

Are we actually leaning? Trippy. Hehe.
I liked the blanket of leaves on the ground.

Red and orange and green, oh my!

This tree took the book Catching Fire a wee bit too literally.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

The Black Flame Candle

Have you done anything poetic yet? Me either. I'm still trying to come up with something really clever. Do not doubt me, gentle readers.

In the meantime, I have a message for you from my dear friend and probable true love, Thackery Binx: Don't light the black flame candle on All Hallow's Eve. You might bring someone undesirable back to life.

Like these lovely ladies. Coughcough.

And here is Binx in all his glorious kitty-ness.

And in his Thackery normal-ness. Isn't he cute?
We're totally probable true loves.

Enjoy your favorite childhood Halloween movies! Mine is obviously Hocus Pocus, but there are a lot of other great ones out there. I like Nightmare Before Christmas, too. What movies did you and, hopefully, do you still love?

Monday, October 11, 2010

Do something poetic

Random Hypothetical Person: What do you do for a living?

Me: Oh, you know. I read.

RHP: You read?

Me: Yes.

RHP: Well, I read, too. But it is not a living. It's not a real way to spend your time.

Me: I read a lot. Trust me, it is a real way to spend your time.

RHP: I read a lot, too. And you don't really accomplish anything when you read.

*crickets chirping*

Me: I don't think you quite understand.

Me: It's a living.

So, just in case you ever wonder what the heck I'm doing with my life, now you know. I read, and I learn how to be a human being.

Also, in light of President Uchtdorf's General Conference message, in which he encourages us to (among many other wunderbar things) rejoice in the simple things of life, I would like to issue a challenge to my readership. All both of you.

CHALLENGE: Do something poetic. What do I mean by this?

Recreate some image or scene from a poem. Take part in the beauty of living. Poetry explores the nuances of life: the beautiful, the ugly, the tragic, the peaceful, the humorous, the bizarre, etc. You want an example or two or five? You got it.

As it gets closer to Halloween, I might tap on a friend's window and chant "nevermore."

On a sunny day, I might try to outrun my shadow.

I might finger a jewel as I fall to sleep.

I might dance with the daffodils.

I might take a road that runs uphill.

So be creative. Have fun. Simple fun. Are we good with that? I sure hope so, because I'm excited to hear about the poetic things you do!

And, of course, I'll still be reading.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

October Friends

It's October 2nd! That means that today I made a new friend.

Pumpkin-butt and I got along so well from the start that I can already put rabbit ears on him in our pictures. Isn't it wonderful? 'Tis the season to make friends! Just don't tell them what you're going to do to them later on in the month.

Awkward conversation
Pumpkin-butt: Hi, Toni.
Me: Hi, Pumpkin-butt. Hey, can I...carve you?
Pumpkin-butt: Can you what?
Me: Carve you. You know, with a...knife.
Pumpkin-butt: Ha ha, very funny. I suppose you'll be wanting to yank my guts out, too.
Me: ...
Pumpkin-butt: Great Gourd! You're being serious!

Let's avoid this as much as possible. Don't worry about introducing the concept of carving to your new friend; just stab away. He won't even bleed.

Happy October!