4

I have four jobs. Four. Quatro. As many jobs as there are Italian cheeses. As many jobs as there are wings on an X-wing fighter. As many jobs as there are letters in a four-letter word. Allow me to explain. No, strike that: I'll just let you figure it out on your own.

Job I

Editorial Assistant for Western North American Naturalist

@ the Bean Museum

Job II

Writing 150 Instructor

@ BYU Writing Program

Job III

Primary Author of a chapter on LDS contributions to young adult literature

@ BYU English Program

Job IV

Writer of children's books, middle grade books, and young adult novels

@ My Desk

So, let us call upon The Great Pen of the Sky. Great Pen of the Sky, please please please turn me into this:

Um, thank you, that is all.

(squeezes eyes shut) Is it working?